Effective Tools for Self-Compassion & Self-Care with Kathleen Spadaro
In partnership with the American Nurses Association (ANA) and the American Nurses Foundation (ANF), Professor of Nursing Kathleen Spadaro, PhD, PMHCNS, RN and Psychiatric Clinical Nurse Specialist recently developed a mental health webinar for nurses entitled “Effective Tools for Practicing Self-Compassion & Self-Care in the Time of COVID-19.” The presentation is free for nurses to access and participate in and provides ample tools for addressing the mental health challenges of the moment. But Kathleen’s tools can be broadly useful for Chatham community members who may not work in the healthcare field but are still struggling with stress and anxiety. Below you’ll find an adapted version of Kathleen’s tools and recommendations to incorporate into your own self-care toolkit. You can view the original presentation here.
Practice Checking in with Yourself
Dr. Kathleen Spadaro
Take time each day to check in with how you are feeling emotionally, physically, and mentally, and how these states are impacting your behaviors. Here are some signs and symptoms of stress overload that may remind you to practice self-care
Emotional symptoms of stress
Easily frustrated, agitated, and/or overwhelmed; struggle to handle assigned tasks; difficulty calming the mind and relaxing; having persistent negative thoughts and low self-esteem; withdraw from social interaction; down, depressed, sad
Physical symptoms of stress
Unmotivated; low energy; reoccurring mild or severe headaches; stomachaches; nausea; backache and muscle tension; difficulty getting sufficient sleep
Cognitive symptoms of stress
Difficulty focusing; increased negative thoughts; difficulty making decisions; difficulty remembering or memorizing; brain fog
Behavioral symptoms of stress
Change in appetite (eating too much or not eating at all); inability to carry out tasks or responsibilities; excessive use of alcohol and/or drugs; pacing
Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is a concept coined by Dr. Kristin Neff that essentially asks us to practice compassion and kindness towards ourselves: “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?” Here are a few self-compassion exercises to try:
Exercise 1 (from Dr. Kristin Neff):
Think of a situation in your life that is difficult and causing you stress. Call this situation to mind, and see if you can actually feel the stress and discomfort in your body. Now, say to yourself: This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. That’s common humanity. Other options include: Other people feel this way. I’m not alone. We all struggle in our lives. Now put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth, the gentle touch of your hands on your chest, and say the following:
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I accept this moment exactly as it is.
May I give myself the compassion that I need.
May I learn to accept myself in this moment.
May I forgive myself.
May I be strong.
May I be patient.
Exercise 2 (from Dr. Kristin Neff):
When you notice your stress, take 2-3 deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and breath out through your mouth slowly.
Gently place your hand over your heart, feeling the gentle pressure, and warmth of your hand. If you want, place both hands over your heart, noticing the difference between one and two hands.
Feel the touch of your hand on your chest. If you want, make small circles with your hand.
Feel the natural rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out.
Linger with the feeling for as long as you like.
Incorporate Mindfulness and Loving-Kindness Meditations
Incorporating mindfulness practices and loving-kindness meditations into your daily life can help you practice patience, acceptance, and non-judgment. Mindfulness asks us to focus on the present moment and accept what is happening around us without judgement. When you practice mindful meditation, you can notice what’s happening inside your head and your body without judgement. There is no right or wrong way to meditate; it takes patience. Loving kindness meditations are found to increase positive emotions, reduce negative self-talk, increase compassion, activate empathy, and more. Try this loving kindness meditation before you start your day:
May I be filled with loving-kindness.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in body and mind.
May I be at ease and happy. (Kornfield, 2002)
Set Aside Time for Gratitude
Studies have found that practicing gratitude increases health benefits— i.e., grateful people are more likely to care for themselves. Gratitude can have a powerful influence on stress relief, improved sleep, reduced depression, social bonding, and overall well-being. You can begin by keeping a gratitude journal, writing thank you notes, or telling those people how and why you are grateful for them.
Find What Works for You
If you need some help, pull from this list of activities that strengthen wellbeing developed by the ANA and the ANF:
Spend quality time with family & friends
Spend time in nature
Leisure or entertainment (reading, movies, arts & crafts, music)
Regular exercise
Spiritual practices and connection
Maintain a balanced and healthy diet
Journal
Practice meditation and mindfulness techniques
Get sufficient rest
Seek professional help if symptoms continue or worsen
Special thanks to Dr. Kathleen Spadaro for allowing us to adapt her presentation. You can view a complete list of references and resources here. Interested in nursing programs at Chatham? Click here.
